Open Letter

Dear "Yellow,"

Yes, we're in law school. I know that you probably worked very hard to get here in undergrad. Undoubtedly you constantly visited office hours and built rapport with your professors because you seem like the suck up type. Now that you're in the big leagues (so to speak), you have to take ALL of your required classes with 79 of the same people on a daily basis. So, it shouldn't surprise you when I say to PUT YOUR FUCKING HAND DOWN. IMMEDIATELY. I shouldn't hear a stupid question come out of your nasally-voiced mouth EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. in EVERY. SINGLE. CLASS.

I have to let you know though...when you speak out in class, you do provide me with endless entertainment. When we were talking about jurisdiction in Civil Procedure and the professor said that you can't remove a case from state court to federal court when it's "in your own backyard" and you raised your hand just to ask "What do you mean by 'backyard?'" I laughed endlessly. I'm sure you heard me. What, did you think the professor was referring to the grassy space between your picket fences?!

Another funny moment was on Monday when our Crim Law TA was talking about the assignment the professor gave and giving some clarification...you raised your hand to ask "So, if I already turned in the assignment, do I have to do it all over again?" Was that a real question? I really have to know. Because otherwise, you looked like a big, flapping wet douchebag because it just seemed like you were saying "LOOK AT ME; I DID MY WORK!!!!!!" Totes obnox. Again, laughter for days, but it seems like this time the rest of our section has caught on. The audible laughter you hear is not people laughing with you, but laughing at you. I thought you should know.

Besitos,
Violet

PS: When there's torrential rain outside, don't wear a fucking short dress and tall rain boots. You look like an asshole.